LIFE: Wish I could find some definition to it..

Many a times, I hold a pen in my hand, take out a note pad and feel like writing... I don’t know what, but I want to write something.. Its not so that I am not good at speaking or am an introvert.. no.. not at all.. I am infact very good with expressions and verbals.. but its just that I feel comforted when I am talking to the pen and paper..

May be its because my pen doesn’t ask me questions… The paper doesn’t complain.. the ink doesn’t criticize… but all of them just be with me throughout.. stand by what I say to them.. accept that readily and gracefully and make me feel so comfortable that I feel like writing on and on…

This is the hard fact of life… We are living creatures… PEOPLE.. we dwell among them.. but are we really dwelling?? It’s a tough question for anyone to answer.. because it takes a lot of introspection, a lot of critical analysis, a lot of understanding of oneself and one’s surroundings.. a lot of study of the society and its elements…

Let’s talk about hundreds and thousand of Ants who live and DWELL together.. If you observe them carefully, you will notice an amazing characteristic of these creatures that despite of walking swiftly they never collide!!! Its because they know their job.. they know their responsibilities and work to fulfill it with complete devotion.. they never cross the way of others since they do not loose their own track…

This very characteristic is very rare in the most intelligent creature of all… HUMAN BEING… We do everything better than these tiny ants can do.. but where they supersede us is in the clarity of the vision and goal in life and the dedication to achieve it..

It may be hard to understand where am I actually coming from when I say all these things.. I am pondering upon my past experiences with people and the journey of life so far… Today, I am what time has made out of me.. I am, probably what people wanted me to be… I am liked by most, not so liked by some.. but is it what I wanted to be?? May be yes.. may be not..

In the management school, we learnt about Role Conflicts, Goal Conflicts and other kinds of Inter and Intra personal conflicts… we always applied them on the people, situations, organizations and what not… but never ever thought about it that it can be applied on ourselves the most..

And that is what I am learning with every passing by day.. the hard way… I am feeling strangled in these conceptual realities.. I want to do something because I like it, but am doing something else because others don’t like it… am following the stupid principle which says, “ If you can’t do what you like, start liking what you do”... Its not easy for me to decide that what should I actually believe in.. what I think about myself or what others believe me to be???

And the worst part of it is that more I think about this, more confusing it becomes… May be that’s why its called LIFE.. can one define it???